The Babylon Bee just published a piece on Patriot Post titled "Virginia Considering New Measure That Just Makes It Illegal for Republicans to Vote" — and the only reason anyone could tell it was satire is because the Democrats haven't formally introduced the bill yet. Give them a week.
Seriously. When your party's actual behavior is so cartoonishly authoritarian that a comedy outlet can barely exaggerate it, you've crossed a line that doesn't have a name yet.
Just so you know we're not making this up:
Here's what's really happening in the Commonwealth of Virginia: the state Supreme Court struck down the Democrats' redrawn voting map — the one they gerrymandered so aggressively it made a Rorschach test look balanced — and instead of accepting the ruling like adults, Virginia Democrats are now trying to burn the whole system down. Gov. Abigail Spanberger's party has gone full scorched earth on the redistricting fight, pushing measures so brazenly one-sided that even the Bee's fake quote — "We're tackling the real issue, which is Republicans being allowed to vote at all" — barely registers as parody.
Think about that for a second. A satire website wrote that line as a joke, and your first instinct reading it was probably, "Yeah, sounds about right."
This is the same pattern we've watched Democrats run for years. They gerrymander districts into pretzels using racial data. They stack courts. They change rules mid-game. And the second a court tells them no — the second the system they claim to revere actually holds them accountable — they try to dismantle the court itself. Virginia Democrats have openly discussed schemes to oust the very Supreme Court justices who ruled against them, which is the government equivalent of flipping the Monopoly board because you landed on Boardwalk.
The Bee's version had Democrats asking the state Supreme Court about "publicly executing Republicans." Funny? Sure. But when your party is actively trying to remove justices for ruling against your power grab, the distance between the joke and the reality is measured in inches, not miles.
And here's the part that should make every Virginian furious: this isn't about fairness. It was never about fairness. It's about Democrats realizing they can't win when the maps are drawn legally. They had their shot. The Supreme Court reviewed their work and said it violated the rules. A normal political party would regroup, adjust their message, and try to win voters. Virginia Democrats chose Option B: burn the referee's house down.
Gov. Spanberger could step up and call for a fair, bipartisan redistricting process. She could accept the court's ruling and move forward. Instead, her party is throwing a tantrum so spectacular that professional satirists can't write anything more ridiculous than what's actually happening in Richmond.
The Bee nailed it with one fake quote from a fictional Republican voter named Benjamin Downing: "I really don't think you can do that. Being able to vote is one of those things that's pretty set in stone, if I'm remembering correctly." That's the whole thing, isn't it? We all thought voting rights were settled. Turns out they're only settled when Democrats are winning.
Virginia isn't just a bellwether anymore. It's a warning. If Democrats can't win your state fairly, they'll redraw it until they can. And if a court stops them from redrawing it, they'll try to redraw the court. The only thing standing between them and permanent one-party rule is the Constitution — and we've all seen how much respect they have for that particular document.
Keep laughing at the Bee. But keep one eye on Richmond, because the punchline is getting a little too real.